I'd like to dedicate an entire page to some of the things that come out of my children's mouths. Enjoy!
Sunshine: Mommy can I have 6 chicken nuggets since I'm almost 6?
Sweet Pea: I have 4 because I 4 (She's 2)
Sunshine: How about you have 3 because you're almost 3?
Sweet Pea: I FOUR!!!!!
Sunshine: Fine! I'm getting 6 then 7 then 16 then 49. 49 is the biggest number in the world. It's all the way to Jesus.
Me: Does that mean Jesus gets 49 nuggets?
Sunshine: No he gets all the nuggets. Except 6. 6 are mine.
Sunshine: Mommy is that lady pregnant?
Me: I don't know babe. I don't think so.
Sunshine: Oh well I hope so. Or she's so fat. And she would be embarrassed.
Sunshine: Mommy I'm 5.
Me: Nooo! *hugs* You just quit growing up! It's going way to fast.
Sunshine: Ok, fine I'll just die.
Sweet Pea: *at 11 p.m.* I want be Futta Shy (I want to be Fluttershy the yellow My Little Pony)
Me: *groggily* Why don't you be Rainbow Dash? Your sister already said she's Fluttershy.
Sweet Pea: No I be Futta Shy! Rainbow Dash no have wings!
Me: Then be Twilight Sparkle. She gets wings later in the series. Plus she has a horn.
Sweet Pea: NO TIE YITE!! I be Futta Shy.
Me: Be Princess Celestia. She's in charge!
Sweet Pea: NO! FUTTA SHY!!! I BE FUTTA SHY!
Me: But your sister is Fluttershy. She already...WTF!?!! It's almost midnight and Sunshine is asleep!? Why am I defending her My Little Pony position!? Fine be Futta Shy! Just go the $%# to sleep!!
Sweet Pea: ...I think I be Appa Jack.
Sunshine: Mommy may I please have more water in my bath?
Me: That's a super nice way to ask, but we can only put a little more in because we have to save some for the whales and dolphins.
Sunshine:*pause* Okay Mom, I guess that's enough water. I know that whales and dolphins live in the rivers...well in the oceans. Because oceans are the largest cemeteries on the earth. And they need the water because they'd be like "Whoa wait a minute, where's my water...oh my gosh it's dry and now I can't dive Ahhhh!!!!"
Sunshine: Mommy the Roku remote isn't working.
Me: *fiddles with remote* Well honey I heard you drop it a minute ago. Did you break it? Did the batteries fall out?
Sunshine: No....I don't think so.
Me: Well it's wet. Did you grab it after you washed your hands? I'm not sure it'll work.
Sunshine: Ok I'm going to tell you something but promise you won't get mad.
Me: ....ok. *fiddles with remote*
Sunshine: You have to promise you won't yell or say "Sunny why did you do that?"
Me: Ok I won't say those things. *turns remote over and over looking for the problem*
Sunshine: *sigh* Ok I dropped it in the toilet this morning.
Sweet Pea: I hold it! I just hold it Mommy? Peas?
Me: No baby, it's yucky
Sunshine: Oh my gosh, t's just pee.
Sunshine: mommy I like your tummy
Me: aww thanks honey.
Sunshine: yeah it's like goop. Let's cut it off and make goop.
Welp that's one vote for a tummy tuck.